The key event in the Second Civil War, the Great Confiscation of Guns, took place even before the struggle proper unfolded. All perished in the White Guilt Plague of 2026, its origin traced to the Oberlin campus. Statues now line the National Mall, and school kids know the names: Krugman, Friedman, Bruni, Rubin, and Boot.
“Newspaper” (so called because it once contained news and was published on actual paper, for the elderly) columnists at The New York Times and Washington Post, now the Ministry of Truth, tried hard enough to warn us it was coming. The last straw was Rudy Giuliani stripping down to his borats and shouting “Never concede! Wolverines!” The Second Civil War had begun.
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